Mother

Listening to John Lennon singing 'Mother', it brought back memories on how I felt losing my mother when I was a teenager at the age of 18 to be precised. 18 should be the best years of every young ones but not me. It's like losing a limb. I felt like a handicap. I cannot run to the woman you called mother when I am hurt. My father was away all the time. In fact he had another wife just before my mother left me. I became rebellious out of anger.

When my wedding day came, I don't have a mother to tell me what marriage is all about. I could not share the joy that others did with their mother when they marry. It was my auntie who prepared my wedding so it was like 'whatever '.I have no say about the preparation.

I never had a family home when my father brought his 2nd wife to live in his house. She hated me then and she hardly smile at me let alone speak to me back then. So when I gave birth to my first child, I was on my own with my husband. My in laws helped but I do not have a mother to tell me how to bathe a newborn and there was no such thing as confinement for me because no one cared.

Somehow I managed to bring up my daughter and when I had my 2nd child, it was my friends that helped me with sending and fetching my first child from school. My husband was working outstation at that time so I was alone looking after my girls. Their father only helped during the weekend. Still I managed but with lots of sacrifices. My life was totally focused on the girls. I do not have time for my own self but it was the best time of my life. Ofcos I wished that my mother could see me coped with the girls. Life is such.When it gives you lemons, what do you do?

Fast forward to now. I am a grandmother now and guess what?I still missed my mother. I still don't get on well with my step-mom and her children. My father is now unwell yet I don't have the courage to visit him at his house often because I do not feel welcomed by his wife n sons.

I am not sorry for writing all these. Hey I need to release my pent up emotion. It's been in my heart for too long. So whenever someone lose their mother, I feel them but I can't show my real emotion because I am a handicap where matters of the heart are concerned.

I am not really sure what my life is all about but I believe in being honest. So to all you young girls out there, cherish your mother's love before it's too late.

Iskandar

This is a story about a mother's sacrifice and about perseverance.Regardless of race or background, a mother's love has no boundaries.A mother that did not give up hope on her son who was born with a hearing impaired.

Raja Puan Mahkota,Raja Nazhatul Shima Sultan Idris Shah have six sons and the youngest son Syed Iskandar Syed Omar Al Sagoff brought out the best in her.

KU PUAN DOTTIE 

"When he was a baby he slept through the night and seldom cry.He was a good baby." said Raja Nazhatul Shima or fondly known as KuDottie.

"When he turned two,he never uttered a word and I was worried but still felt that he was fine because each time I sang  songs like 'twinkle little star' with my hand gesture,he laughed.So I assumed he heard me but actually it was my hand gesture that made him laugh."

One day while he was playing with his cousin,I shouted at them for messing up the room.There was no respond from my son,he was unaffected but my nephew cried because of the shout.

That was when KuDottie realized that his son had a hearing problem.

"I took him to a paeditrician in Ipoh and the doctor said that Iskandar was a slow learner.I was not satisfied and wanted a second opinion so I took him to Singapore and the doctor diagnosed my son as profound deaf or hearing impaired . My world collapsed upon learning that Iskandar was born with 'hearing impaired' and I was advised to take him to a speech therapist. I took him to see a speech therapist,Mrs Ragbir in Kuala Lumpur to see if he could utter a sound."

"The therapist used a method that is hard for me to explain and the first word that she taught him was the word 'Ma'. I was so happy to hear him said Ma that i cried tears of joy."

So the next thing KuDottie did was  took him to Hong Kong for another check up.She was dismayed because the doctor gave the same diagnosis.

Then Ragbir the speech therapist suggested to KuDottie about the 'cochlear implant in Sydney,Australia.At that time it was new and not many have heard about this.By then Iskandar was five years old.

A cochlear implant is  a  medical device that replaces the function of the damaged inner ear.It does the work of damaged parts of the inner ear known as cochlea  to provide sound signals to the brain.

We found Proffesor Gibson in Sydney and he did the operation on Iskandar.We went there in 1995 till 1997 and the operation took four hours.

ISKANDAR

"I was shocked when I first heard  sounds after the operation that I cried from fear."said Syed Iskandar Syed Omar, 28.

As for KuDottie, she admitted that upon seeing Iskandar responded with the cry after the operation, she was so happy that no words could described her feelings.She knew than that the operation was successful.Iskandar was the second patient to undergo the operation at that point in time.The first was the son of Farah Khan.

We had to go for speech therapy in Sydney after the operation and we had to learn from Professor Gibson. At the same time Iskandar went to Cranbrook school a normal school for normal children.The beauty about the school is that they never treat him like a handicap.

"Iskandar is strong willed and competitive.He was so good in chess since young and in Tenby at the age of 11 he was the best chess player " said KuDottie.

"My mum and I stayed in Sydney for three years so I could learned how to speak.I never learn sign language but only lip reading.I went for speech therapy under a wonderful teacher,Rosalyn from Canada and became attached to her."said Iskandar

Lip reading is a technique of understanding speech by visually  interpreting the movements of the lips,face and tongue when normal sound is not available. Lip reading is not easy and ostensibly used by those with hearing impaired.

"Naturally English became my first language.I went to a prep  school in Sydney for two years and then continued my studies at Tenby International School in Ipoh."he said

After acquiring his O level at the age of 15,Iskandar went to HELP University for his twinning degree at 16.After two years in HELP,he went to Hawaii Pacific University  to complete his degree.

"I pursued Bachelor of Science in Business Management majoring in finance and in Mathematic. I earned my Honour degree with a GPA of 3.78 at the age of 19.I came home for a while before I decided that a degree is not enough for me and I have to do my Masters.

So I did my Masters at the age of 20 in Australia.At UNSW to be precised which was very tough but I got my masters in Financial Analysis.That was a challenging year for me."

Upon returning to Ipoh, Iskandar who was the first in his family to earned a Masters began teaching.He was a lecturer at Quest International University  for four years.The good looking lecturer had students going gaga over him which is not surprising.

" I taught  Finance and Statistic. I love figures and I memorised formulas.For me education should be free" said the good looking lad."So during my free time I give tuition in mathematics for free.I joined Mercy and helped the flood victims in Pahang during the big flood recently.

Iskandar quit his job in order to help his mother with finance for their family business.Somehow his passion for for teaching won him over so he started teaching again at Sunway College Ipoh.He is currently teaching Finance,the subject that he loves.

"I am thinking of doing a PhD soon.That will take four years."he said adding that his mother is behind his success and he is proud of his mother just as much as his mother is proud of him.

"I wish to share my son's success with others so that those out there with a child that is born with hearing impaired will not give up  and for those young ones to pursue their dream.If Iskandar can do it,I believe they can do it too."said KuDottie.

Ends

Bad Mom

It's a title of a movie.Very entertaining yet the message is clear.We can't be perfect mothers because it is a taxing job.
In my humble opinion,I feel that mothers should just be there for their children.Our presence as a mother is important in molding a child but we must never lose our own identity.Yes we are mothers but besides that,we too have our passion and hobbies.Some mothers have to work and that's fine as long as we do not neglect our children.
We must always celebrate motherhood because it is the greatest job.